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We all love the playing the game of baseball.  I also love the conversations that take place during a game with your fellow players, coaches, or umpires during a game.  On my 28+ team, whenever I coach first and someone hits a dribbler by the pitcher for a hit, I usually greet them with, "Nice rip" or "You really hit the crap out of that one".  As another example, I remember reading about an exchange that Dustin Pedroia had with catcher, Joe Mauer, when he came up to the plate in a game against the Twins.  Pedroia already had a few hits in the game and Mauer said something like, "We can figure out how to get you out."  To which Pedroia replied... "You and everyone else in the American league."  Who can forget the exchanges that occurred on the field during Bull Durham.  Do you have any funny and/or memorable exchanges that you've had either with teammates, opposing players, or umpires during a game?  It could be anything...  From meetings on the mound, in the dugout before or after a big atbat, in the batters' box, or even between umpires.



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yea - bleep, bleep bleep - or something to that effect
AS A HIGH SCHOOL UMPIRE YOU USUALLY START OUT WITH 3 BASEBALLS FOR THE GAME. AFTER 3 FOUL BALLS IN A ROW AND KNOW ONE RETURNING THEM QUICK ENOUGH I YELLED OVER TO THE HOME COACH THAT "I HAVE NO BALLS". WELL THAT GOT A CHUCKLE FROM EACH DUGOUT AND A SOME LAUGHTER AND A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FROM THE CROWD, AFTER CORRECTING MY WORDING AND SAY "BASEBALLS".
While coaching a 14-15 year old girls fastpich team we had an ump with a really poor strike zone. After another really bad call, one of the girl's father, who was sitting along the fence line between home and our dugout, takes out his artificial eye and offers it to the ump while saying "Here ump, you need this more than I do"! Of course all of the girls heard it. It loosened them up and they came back to win the game.
I was umpiring the bases in a high school game with the home team batting and leading 7-2 in the bottom of the fifth. The visiting pitcher just surrendered his third straight walk to load the bases. His coach called time and as he approached the mound, the young pitcher lowered his head and held the ball out to his coach. The coach said "no, you loaded the bases here now throw this next guy fastballs and lets see how far he can hit it." I'm not sure why this struck me as so funny but it is still one of my favorite memories from baseball.
An umpire was shaking his head and leaning into our catcher during one inning .. that drew my attention. It seemed like nothing, until the ump called time .. walked half way to the mound with his mask in hand and told my guy "one more time with the face and muttering about the balls and strikes and he was gone!"

I sprang out of the dugout and jogged over to the two now engaged in a conversation .. with my pitcher motioning.. what did I do?

The ump turned to me and said this man is gone if he gets one more look that even suggests he's being squeezed!

When I asked my pitcher if that's what he was doing .. he said “ heck no”. He was just singing to himself .. it took the pressure off.

"Ok fella, what ya singing?" asked the ump.

My guy says he's singing that song about the lions that were raised by these people .. then set free. It goes something like this ..
" Born free... my father's a doctor..."

The Home Plate Umpire walked back to the plate, shaking his head, and I heard him mutter to himself .. " their nuts .. their all nuts
We had two youngsters from a local high school act as ball boys – one boy, one girl. As the game progressed, each youngster took their turn bringing the baseballs to the plate ump. Every time the young lady –who was very attractive, would jog out to the plate ump and supply him with new baseballs, our catcher would notice from the time she left the dugout to the time she returned to the dugout. After one visit by the young lady the plate umpire deliberately took his knuckles and gave a rap to the top of our catcher’s skull cap. You could hear the “donk” all the way in the dugout. When our backstop came in after the inning was over I asked him “what was that about?” He said that the ball girl and the plate ump where just talking and somehow he got into it. When I asked him what did they say to one another to get you involved he said the plate ump said, “ you’re doing a fine job sweetheart”, then she said “ thank you daddy”, next thing you know somebody’s knocking on my door!

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